Random Act of Author Insanity
by Darkmaster2
Summary: Different scenes involving Kain and the crew. If you like Rolling on the Floor laugher Read this! Please R


_**Random Act of Author Insanity**_

Kain and Raziel are standing in a room... suddenly a box falls in front of Kain and a vampire in red falls too... 'aka Faustus' a few minutes later Kain, raziel, Vorador, Janos sits down to watch the video in the box...it turns out to be a gay tape between Kain and Faustus.

Kain, Raziel and a random Jedi Master walk into a bar...raziel and the jedi say ow...all but Kain who mists through it...then he falls into a open man hole.

Kain like talking to raziel and they start walking down a dark, creepy alley... Raziel starts getting nervious and starts to fall behind. a bar is hanging down and Kain mists through it still talking to Raziel, Raziel just runs forward and slams into it while kain think he's still following... then later when Kain finally realizes the Raziel isnt with him he starts wondering... Then in the next slide Raziel could be hanging from that pole with BIG spiders trying to get him, and Raziel is all crying and yelling for Kain

Moebius wearing a thong like the pansy he is

..ewww...I just got an image or Kain wearing a thong...

_SHIVER_

Maybe a picture of Kain with a tan

" He's a brownie!"

" hold the nuts please"

**_Pissing Jokes_**

Kain's pissing on the wall he spells his name wrong... he spells it Raziel

Raziel's pissing on the wa...hey! how can he piss!

Those souls have to go somewhere

Elder god is his immortal toilet! 

Anceint vampires are pissing on the walls... they spell Hylden

(Take #2) Anceint vampires are pissing on the walls... they say: "We are tht Hylden's Bitchs"

Janos' pissing on a wall...spells "Alihc was here"

Kain pisses out the window and doesnt know he's pissing on Totoro... Later that day Totoro comes in and bites Kain's "Manlyness" off.

**_Other jokes_**

Kain checks into a hotel to escape the rain, he gets his key and goes up to his room, opens the door sees a shit load of hylden in there.

Kain: "Ahh... I think i'm in the wrong room" 

Raziel Using is Soul Reaver on a vampire hunter... His cell rings...he stops and takes the phone out of where his lower jaw should be, " Hello?"

" Yes, Hello Mr. Raziel. On behalf of my client, Mr. Skywalker. We wish for the return of his lightsaber."

Raziel looks at his arm, " Sorry I sold that last year at a yard sale for 20 dollars" Hangs up.

For Halloween Raziel wears a squid costume, " Hey look I'm Elder God!"

Moebius and Mortanius are sitting in the tree, F-U-C-K...AHHHH! I dont wanna what they're doing!

(Take #2) Moebius and Mortanius are sitting in the tree, F-U-C-K-I-N-G...Vorador pops up suddenly from the bushes blending in prefectly, " HEY THAT"S MY NON-VIRGIN TREE!"

Raziel is playing Soul Reaver 2... he ant make himself jump on the rock, he doesnt know what to do. The serices ends.

Beginning of Soul Reaver, The camera zooms in on Kain sitting on his throne like normal, but what you dont see if the six clan leader in the back singing is high girly voices, " KAIN LIKES LOW RISE PANTS!"

Turel and Raziel are up front are acting like Kain saying, "Look at me I'm a gay fag!"

Kain throws his soul Reaver at them stopping them, and starts running after them all! Author: " RUN RUN RUN!" Kain turn around and kills the author.

Raziel is standing sideways holding his soul reaver so it looks like it's coming out of his pelvis, "HA! Kain I told you I was bigger! See how it glows with my pribe." A random bolt from a lightening demon sends Raziel "Singing with pride"

Raziel walking around Vorador's mansion looking about... he looks... he does a double take... he sees Vorador sleeping in a large pickle jar.

Kain says: " Cadaverous Laceration the Hylden's scienific term for Bitch slap!"

Kain says: " Sanguine Censure... my way of saying MY NACOS!"

Kain says: " Infernal Sundering... my way of saying I WILL NOT PAY MY TAXS YOU

STUPID SARAFAN!"

Kain says: " Nightmare's Hammer is my way of saying GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME PRESIDENT BUSH!"

Kain says: "Kinetic Shackles or my way of saying FIVE FINGER DISCOUNT!"

Meobius smiles at Kain, " I have more then one way to immoblize my enemies Kain. You may not have you heart BUT YOU STILL HAVE YOUR BALLS!" Kicks Kain.

Raziel says: "Perforate Carcass or the simple version: You're swiss cheese!"

Raziel says: " Phantasmal Tempest or simply: Look at me fool the humans! They think ET is coming back"

Raziel says: "Shatter Spirit or simply: Sorry Honey i cant be with you anymore."

Raziel says: " Empyreal Rending or the simple version: ... Damn what is the simple version."

Raziel says: " Stasis Field or simply: ZZZAAPPP!"


End file.
